Living the Characters' Lives (A Darren Criss Love Story)
by catiedid
Summary: What happens when Ryan Murphy's niece works at a theater camp with the glee cast and the leads' lives start to resemble those of their characters? Will they be able to overcome the rift between them and find the love the characters they play share or will their own insecurities and pasts get in their way? Loosely based on Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I own nothing and no one except the written words here. This idea came from two dreams that I had that could be easily related to one another.

I liked to think I was a pretty normal girl with a pretty normal life. I had a wonderfully crazy family who loved me and supported me in everything I wanted to do. I was a little weird because I actually loved school! High school was a lot of fun for me even at the end of my junior year when I had just finished taking four AP classes and had signed up for more the next year. I had great friends and I was involved in as much as I could be. I was part of three community service groups and lettered in three varsity sports. I also went to just about every theater production my school put on and played the flute in the school band. Everything was normal about me except for the fact that I had an uncle, Ryan, who was a pretty big deal out in Hollywood. He was my favorite uncle, but I rarely got to see him because I lived across the country from him. Little did I know, but that would change for the better when he decided to bring the cast of his new show to a college campus to be counselors at a musical theater camp so they could get to know each other better before shooting the rest of the season now that the pilot had been picked up by FOX. The summer of after my junior year of high school my uncle asked me if I'd like to come work at the camp as well. He knew how much I loved and appreciated theater even though I was never a part of the productions in school because of my busy schedule. He'd always tried to get me to switch, but I loved the sports I played too much. He always joked and said if he'd gotten to me before my dad did I would have been on Broadway by the age of 11 because I was so dramatic and theatrical and he was only partly joking. I did love to sing and I think if I hadn't decided to be an athlete I would definitely have been on stage. As it was I decided that I could stand to make a little money and spend some time with my uncle so I showed up at the apartment he was renting for the summer a week after school ended.

If you're wondering, yes I was referring to Ryan Murphy and yes I was talking about "Glee". That summer I had a lot of fun and I learned a lot that summer. I learned that I loved being on stage, but unfortunately for my uncle, just not enough to pursue it during the school year. I also learned that I loved the university that the camp was held at (we'd taken a tour before the camp opened) and I would be applying there Early decision in the fall. I also learned that I really did enjoy working with kids, which is good because I want to be a pediatrician. I learned that I LOVE the cast of my uncle's show! They are some of the sweetest and funniest people I've ever met. Most importantly though I learned that Chris Colfer is also a Starkid and that he is an amazing person. I missed the cast all throughout the school year and while we kept in touch it just wasn't the same. I would Skype with them on a weekly basis and they became some of my best friends.

Unfortunately I didn't know how long it would be until I would be able to see them all face to face again. My uncle had invited me to come out to LA for a few weeks after I graduated, but I couldn't because I'd been accepted into a research program that lasted a month that summer and I wouldn't be back in time if I went out to visit. I had applied to and been accepted to the college where the camp was held the year before and they had a special program for incoming freshman that allowed a select few to go into research labs with professors and work with their research students for a month. He told me that was fine because he'd be bringing the cast back again this year. Apparently they all begged him to do the camp again and the kids at the camp had loved it. There were also some new cast members who would be joining the group this summer and I was excited to meet them although I was told that not every new role was cast just yet. He asked who was in charge of the program so he could call and talk to them because he wanted me to be a counselor again this summer. I told him who to contact and he arranged it so that I could do both without a problem. That summer was amazing and I couldn't wait for my first year of college to begin.

I realized early that I wouldn't have time to watch my favorite TV show because of all the work and practices that I had. I also found that I would much rather read than watch anyway, so my uncle would email me the scripts and I could stay caught up that way. The summer going into my sophomore year of college was when things changed for me big time! Not only was I friends with celebrities, but I'd also be meeting my favorite on line celebrity, who I just happened to have a big crush on.

I was already on campus helping with research again when the majority of the cast was supposed to be arriving. I was lucky and unlucky in that the professor I was working with only had enough funding to pay two researchers for a full 8 weeks and one for 4 weeks. Because I was the youngest I got the short end of the deal, but that was ok because I'd be finishing my four weeks right when the camp would be beginning.

I met everyone the night they arrived at the theater and we had a pre-meeting meeting because all of the people there had done this twice before. Uncle Ryan told us that there would we people from the cast who were new to the show last season who weren't able to help last year and he asked if we'd help them out. He winked at me when he said this and I smiled. He was always trying to set me up with someone or another. I couldn't wait to see who it was this year.

The meeting was over and people were auditioning for roles in the show that we'd be working on this summer. This was a special camp the counselors were not only mentors, but also peers to the campers. And the campers weren't kids exactly, but more like freshman and sophomores in college. Ryan had changed it last year and it seemed to work better. Also the counselors were responsible for putting on a show that would be performed the night after the campers arrived, we had three weeks of rehearsal coming up and none of us knew what we'd be auditioning for just yet because we had to wait for everyone to get here.

I was sitting next to Chris and I asked him if he'd heard about why Darren Criss wasn't in the last Starkid show, but had only written the music for it. He said, "Hunny what was the last glee episode you saw?"

"Umm. Furt, I think, but I missed the one before it. Why?"

"Well that explains it. You know what happens though right, specifically with my character? Ryan sent you the scripts?"

"Yeah! Kurt gets a boyfriend named Blaine! And they love each other according to the last script!"

"Exactly!" He had effectively changed the subject, but I hadn't really noticed.

Ryan called me over then and told me that I was to work closely with and the actor who played Blaine and help him find his way around and everything. He said that he would be arriving the next day. I said ok and went back to my dorm to shower eat and get to bed. I had lab at nine until around five and I'd be meeting "Blaine" after that. Little did I know, my uncle had a surprise in store for me. He had worked at the camp with me and Chris for two summers and he knew that Darren Criss was my favorite actor. When he'd heard Darren's name at the auditions he'd recognized it, but couldn't remember where. Once Darren had been hired and asked to return for a second season Chris had insisted that Darren be a part of the camp this summer and meet Ryan's niece who he'd heard so much about and Ryan remembered why he knew the name. It was his intention so set the two up this summer and he had inadvertently been piquing Darren's interest about me right along with the rest of the cast when they talked about me.

It worried Darren that he was the boss's niece's favorite actor/singer. He was worried that she'd believe he owed her something because she'd mentioned his name to Ryan and he'd recognized it and took notice. He didn't think she sounded like the kind of person who would feel that way, but his on–again–off–again girlfriend, Mia, who happened to be off–again at the moment, had planted the seed in his brain and he couldn't shake the worry he had. Of course Ryan didn't know this and hadn't told Darren that it would be his niece showing him around the first day. Darren had never learned my name either, because the entire group referred to me as Duckie. So essentially we were both set up for trouble before we'd even met.

I had been made aware of who Blaine actually was because Chris made it his mission to make me watch every scene that he himself was in and many of them included Kurt's new main man. Darren Criss. That's who I'd be expected to "mentor". That's why Ryan had winked at me and, now that I think about it, Chris at the meeting. Oh great, how was I going to get through this?

I was up on the stage preparing for my audition, which was pretty much just a formality anyway. Ryan knew how each and every one of us acted and sang he just liked to watch us squirm a little. I had gotten out of lab early and was sitting on stage going over the scene I'd be reading with god knows who later on when out of the blue I heard a voice respond, by heart the line that the person opposite me would be expected to recite. I startled at that and called, "Who's out there?"

I heard a chuckle and a man walked toward the stage from the back of the house. "I'm Darren," he said, "Darren Criss, I play Blaine and I've only just arrived."

"I know who you are," I said shyly.

"A fan of the show I presume?"

"Something like that. And I'd be happy to show you to the dorms, I actually have your key here. I'm Catie, the one who's supposed to be mentoring you until you get your bearings here. "

"Nice to meet you and that would be great, thanks." We walked to the dorms and flirted and joked. He asked me how I knew so much about the school and I told him that I went to school there and that I was a tour guide. I had assumed he knew who I was and was pleased that he hadn't mentioned anything about my being related to Ryan yet. I wasn't one to brag or really talk about it much, I'd been treated pretty badly in the past by people who I thought were my friends and who had really only wanted an "in" with my uncle.

Apparently he didn't know that though because when I auditioned that night, the shit hit the fan.

I was sitting next to him when my uncle told us that we'd be putting up a musical version of Pride and Prejudice that Darren had helped write some of the songs for. That explained why the scene we had to do for the audition was one from the Austen novel. "Ooo, that's my favorite book!" I whispered, and Darren just shook his head laughing and patted my knee a couple of times. It turned out that we were going to be reading the scene together and I was really excited because I felt like he was actually showing interest in me.

We sat next to each other as the auditions went. Singing part was first, and I was going last, and then the reading of the scene. When it was my turn Ryan called me up and Darren said good luck. When I was done I sat on stage and waited while Ryan explained the way the readings would go. He said that because we'd been the last to sing, Darren and I would be the first to go. There were wolf whistles in the crowd and Darren was laughing when he got up on stage.

He began with Mr. Darcy's declaration of love to Lizzie, just before she rejects him. We waited for Ryan to give us the go ahead to move into the actual dialog part of the scene. He said, "Alright, dear, whenever you're ready." And I heard a few people call "That's right girl let him have it!" and then Chris and Lea yelled "You go Duckie!" As soon as he heard that his gazed turned cold and seriously if looks could kill I think I would have been dead. I knew right away that this was not just acting and I was pissed. I figured out quickly that he realized then and only then that I was Ryan's niece and he started treating me differently. What the exact reason was I didn't really care all I knew was that it was, in the end, because of being the boss's niece and I couldn't believe he was acting that way. I finished the scene and the anger and disappointment we said our lines with was not difficult to portray. He felt mislead and used and I felt cheated and judged and we both felt extremely disappointed in one another. We showed this as anger though and as soon as the scene was over he said, "I cannot BELIEVE you!" and stormed off the stage. Chris ran after him and as soon as they were out of the room and ran to the wings crying.

Ryan came running to find me after yelling "take ten!" to the cast. "CATIE! DUCKIE!" he called as he ran looking for me. I cringed at the nickname now, even though I'd loved it all my life, now it just brought back the memory of the cold glare in Darren's usually warm and bright eyes. I sobbed louder because of it and ryan came over and wrapped his arms around me. "Sweetheart, please excuse the way that I'm gonna say this, but what the hell just happened?"

"I don't know Ry-no, I'd hung out with him all day and we were fine, but as soon as he heard Lea and Chris say my nickname he just glared at me. I've never been so disappointed in someone or in myself for actually thinking he was special. He liked me until he realized that I was your niece and I don't even know why!"

"Well, we'll get to the bottom of this. You just stay here and listen; I want you to hear what he says because I'm sure it's all just a misunderstanding."

"Ok, if you're sure. If I want to come out and address something he says, can I?"

"Of course you can." No one could have guessed that there would be a LOT I wanted to address.

So eventually Chris convinced Darren to come back into the theater because they both knew Ryan would want an explanation.

Chris (C) Darren (D) Ryan (R) Me (M)

C- Darren, would you like to, CALMLY, explain why you just up and stormed out of the theater after your reading? You know that's exactly a good habit to get into.

D- Chris, she's just like I was worried she'd be. Just like Mia said she would be.

C- Who? And what the hell does Mia have to do with anything? You know she lies half the time she talks to you Darren and she's cheated on you at least once, I thought you weren't together anymore.

M – (thinking) They're not D – We're not.

D – But that doesn't matter. What matters is she was right about Ryan's niece.

C – What did she say about Catie exactly? And how would she know anything about her?

D – She told me that "Duckie" who I now know is Catie would think that I owed her something because she happened to mention to Ryan that I'm her favorite actor/ singer. That she'd think she's the reason I got this job and that I owe her for it. I just can't believe it's true! We're even doing a play based on her favorite book!

R- Woah, wait first of all the play we are doing has nothing to do with her, I didn't even know it was her favorite book. But, Catie? Think you owe her something? Did Catie say anything like that? Because that does not sound like my niece. Darren, everyone here knows you got that job fair and square; including my niece. I'm assuming you realized who she was when you heard people call her Duckie?

D- Yes that's right. You're niece. No, she didn't say anything, but her actions were loud enough to speak for her. She was hanging around me all day doing things to get praise and not letting me out of her sight, like she owned me or something.

R – I assigned her to be you're damn mentor! I'm sure she told you that when you first met her!

D- yeah she did, but she neglected to mention that she was your niece.

R&M – What does that matter?

Darren whipped around to see me step out from behind the curtain.

M- It shouldn't matter whether I was Ryan's niece or the princess of England! You like me JUST fine until you realized "what" I was. People have taken advantage of me for that in the past so excuse me for not bringing it up! Now, as for where you get off putting opinions and ideas in my head, I don't know. And really I don't care to. Darren, I was a fan of yours before I met you and upon first impression I became an even bigger fan because you treated me like a normal person. But guess what, you just lost a fan. It's a good thing you know how to make a first impression but your second impressions suck! How you could, having not even met me yet, assume such terrible things about me I don't understand and I can't believe you! I NEVER expected anything from you and I didn't even know you were part of the cast until last night. You had no right to treat me the way you did especially after, at least I'd thought, you'd gotten to know me. I have never met someone as selfish as you. You are giving this entire cast a bad name. If anyone, I don't care who they are, ever treated me like this I would sever any contact with them, so welcome to the no contact zone. That includes phone, email, twitter, verbal, physical and especially eye contact. You're a good actor Darren, but now I see that you're a terrible person. I have never been so terribly judged in my entire life, and by a person who preaches tolerance too.

D – Catie… I -

C – Just save it. Maybe next time you shouldn't be so quick to take your own insecurities out on other people. I have enough of my own thanks.

I started to walk out of the theater and I turned around and said, "Oh, and seriously, remember NO contact. I promise you I'll ignore it. Apparently I was too attentive. Ryan I'm sorry, but you'll have to find him a new mentor."

I left the auditorium then.

D – Well shit, I'm the biggest asshole in the world.

C – yeah, I'd say.

D – Do you hate me now too?

C- no, dumbass, I don't hate you. But she is my friend and I will stick up for her. What you did was uncalled for, unfounded, and mean. But when she says no contact she means it Darren. Unfortunately Ryan already cast you as Darcy and she as Elizabeth meaning you're going to be seeing a lot of each other. But I think you just realized how much like Mr. Darcy you are. So for you it shouldn't be a problem. Convincing her that you do care for her and that she was right? It's gonna be an uphill battle.

D – I think it's worth it. I just… I let Mia get to me. I've been lied to and hurt so much lately that I let that get to me too. How do I apologize and try to explain when she won't even look at me?

C – WWDD.

D- What?

C – What Would Darcy Do? God, when did real life turn into an Austen novel?

Darren texted and called me a lot over the next few days. Chris was right when he predicted that we'd already been cast as the leads, but luckily I didn't have to rehearse with Darren for a while still. I didn't listen to or read any of Darren's messages. I knew he'd just be saying how sorry he was and I really didn't want to hear it. I'd already had a crush on him so during the time that we'd spent together I started falling for him and I got my hopes up. He tore that down faster than fire through paper and he got through my walls like a Trojan horse and attacked me from the inside. It was going to take more than a poorly thought through text or phone message asking for forgiveness. At this point I was pretty sure he just wanted to feel better. What I'd said was the truth and the truth hurts, if I forgave him that easily it wouldn't help either of us.

A/N: EEK! Don't hate me! It gets better I promise!


	2. Chapter 2

I had actually read his texts and in a few he had told me that he really liked me after hanging out that first day and he apologized for reacting before he thought about what he was doing. I liked him too, I knew I did, but I was too stubborn to admit it and accept his apology. I really wanted to believe that Darren was truly sorry for treating me the way he had, but about a week and a half later that building forgiveness took three steps back.

We had just started the rehearsals where the two of us had scenes together and I was a little bit worried about how well it would go. There was obvious tension between the two of us, but with him being a professional and me not wanting to let my uncle down we did the best we could and it rarely showed in the scenes, unless it was supposed to obviously.

I was sitting on the stage after rehearsal collecting all of my things when I heard him call my name. I really wasn't in a mood to talk to anyone, because of having a headache and a rough day in lab, let alone talk to him. So I just kind of pretended that I hadn't heard anything, he had said it kind of softly after all. He wasn't having that though and stomped over to me. "What is your problem with me? I have tried to apologize in ten different ways and you don't respond to any of them!"

"First of all, you've tried two. Now, apparently, three, but none are very sincere. At least your attempt at face to face contact was an improvement over just using a cell phone. What part of no contact didn't you understand? Can you really not see how much you hurt me? You don't know my past and I haven't told you about it so I wouldn't expect you to, but for you to assume things about me like that and then rip me to shreds after knowing me for four hours and treating me so well it's disappointing. I was a huge fan of yours Darren and from what I'd seen you always treat your fans so well. I know you're sorry, but sorry isn't going to take away the fact that you're not the person I thought you were or the way you treated me. I assumed my uncle had told you who I was so I didn't say anything. I shouldn't have had to though and you had no right to judge me or treat me that way for it. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to go take some Advil before the staff dinner."

_CRAP! I had forgotten about that. Now after effectively calling him a fake and a jerk I'd have to at least be around him for who knows how long, because it was a Friday night and we had a day off the next day so we didn't have to worry about turning in early. I panicked a little, but looked at him expectantly. Truth be told I was kind of hoping his eyes would soften and he'd pour out a huge apology to me._

"So that's what you really think of me huh? Wow, I guess there's not much more to say to you then if your mind's already made up. Sorry for bothering you."

Darren was heartbroken. When he'd seen me acting that day he'd hoped that maybe I was starting to forgive him. The chemistry between us that first day was indisputable and he knew that we both would have quickly and easily developed deeper feelings for each other if he had not over reacted. He was going to talk to me about that, but he could see that he needed to address it in a different way. In what he felt was desperation he did what Chris had suggested that first night after his blow up. He sat down and he wrote me a letter. The hard part would be getting it to me, he knew I'd read it once I had it, but that it would be difficult to get it into my hands. He figured he'd get Chris to give it to me if he absolutely had to.

He found me in the lounge a few hours before we'd be leaving to go to the restaurant and at this point I felt kind of bad for the way I had addressed him, whether or not I was right, I didn't need to say it in the way I had. He was obviously feeling awkward when he said, "I understand that I've hurt your feelings and I won't stand here and apologize because I know you know that I am sorry. If you'd just please do me the honor of reading this I'll sleep a little better tonight."

I didn't know what to say so I just took the letter and stared at it. Eventually he said, "Ok, yeah, so um I guess I'll see you later. Bye" and he got up and left the room. I didn't know what to make of all this. Looking back I should have figured out that this was my "Mr. Darcy's letter", but at that point all thoughts of Pride and Prejudice plot points had slipped my mind.

I went back to my room opened the letter and read every word. Twice. Later I'd eventually read it so much that I knew it by heart, but that's beside the point. In the letter Darren explained how his now ex-girlfriend Mia had planted the seed of his doubt for me when she saw that, based on descriptions of my uncle and the cast mates, he was developing a little crush on me. He explained that the two had since broken up because of differences of opinion and possible cheating. He said that when he'd met me that day, not knowing who I was, that he'd really liked me and was planning to ask me on a date after rehearsal that night. He had felt lied to, discouraged, taken advantage of, disappointed and so much more when he'd realized that I was his boss's niece and certain things that he hadn't objected to before had suddenly seemed to fit the description of how Mia had said I would act. He expressed his sorrow at the fact that he'd caused me to lose my faith in him as a person and that now we might not even be friends let alone anything more like he had originally hoped. He explained that he knew it might not happen right away, but that he hoped, for the sake of the show, that we'd at least be cordial to each other if not friendly. He knew it was asking a lot, but he promised to attempt to show me how much of an idiot and an ass he'd been and to try to make it up to me. Darren ended the letter with apologizing for bringing back memories of painful events in the past and assured me he'd do his best never to do that again He thanked me for looking past everything and at least reading the letter and signed off.

I was crying when Chris came to see if I was awake 15 minutes before we needed to leave and he told me to go wash my face so I could calm down. I walked back into my room and saw him reading the letter. He looked up at me sheepishly and asked if it was ok. I really didn't care so I just nodded. When he was done reading he said something under his breathe that sounded like "could life get much more like a goddam Austen novel?" and came over to give me a hug.

I looked up at him and said, "That asshole. He made me love him, then hate him, and now I think he's made me love him again against my will. What do I do?"

"Well hunny I don't think you ever really stopped. I think he just hurt you. I would say just gradually try to become friendly again and if I know the two of you like I think you do things will pick up right where they left off."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what, dear?"

"Be my 'Jane' and his 'Charles' at the same time?"

"Ahh, it's a gift," he said shrugging his shoulders. We both laughed at that and then I buried my head in my pillow and groaned because of how frustrating this whole situation was. To make it more awkward Chris informed me that Chord had decided he was coming to the dinner with us after he heard Darren and my conversation earlier in the day. I just couldn't catch a break. I think I forgot to mention before that the two of us had been together last summer until he decided that the long distance thing wasn't going to work and that he'd been giving me crap for being, "all over Darren and then" apparently "pulling back abruptly" which was, according to Chord, just what I'd done to him even though in reality he'd done that to me.

When we got there Chris went and talked to the girls and came back and told me that they'd try to keep Chord away from me, but that he seem intent on talking to me so they were worried about what he might say after he'd been drinking a little. Chord was a nice guy and he'd never get violent with anyone even if alcohol was involved but he had a biting tongue when he wanted to and I didn't think I could handle that at the moment.

What I didn't know was that Chris had also informed the girls about what I'd said about Darren. Darren knew about my past with Chord and he also knew that Chord's story of the events wasn't exactly true. He'd never really had a problem with Chord, but he was nervous about how Chord might react tonight with both Darren and me there.

It turned out that Darren had been right to worry. Chord had been drinking, like most of the cast who were over 21 and he decided that he really needed to talk to me. He promised everyone that he was fine so they, wearily, let him. The conversation started out like I thought it might; him telling me that he was sorry and that he still loved me like he had last summer and me having to tell him that I didn't feel the same any more. He got angry then and, I think, jealous too. He started ranting and raving about how I was such a bitch for leading Darren on and then leaving him in the dust like I had. Apparently I'd lied to Darren and made him believe that I wanted to have sex with him and that I loved him and then at the first inkling of a disagreement I'd dumped him. "yeah," I said, "All in the span of four hours Chord? What's this really about?"

"You really wanna know? Fine! It's about you being a big slut! You didn't want me after last summer because I wouldn't be around. Who knows who you did that to last summer and now you're doing it to Darren, but slut isn't even the right word because you don't even put out. Apparently you and Chris have plenty of sleep overs though so who knows maybe slut is a better word for you! Did you have lots of fun in college Duckie? How many guys did you sleep with huh? Five? Ten?" He became more forlorn at this point, "why wasn't I good enough?" then he went right back to angry. "Huh, bitch? What the matter? What's Darren got that I don't? Was he just the first guy you got close enough to after becoming a big slut in college? I bet you just couldn't wait to– "

"Alright! That's enough Chord!" a voice roared, "Who the hell do you think you are talking to her that way and accusing her of such things. Now, I'm not really one to talk after the accusations that I made, but I've since learned that they were completely wrong and still there is no excuse for using such words. Also, from what everyone has told me, I believe it was you who didn't want her after last summer and you had 'lots of fun' while you two were apart. I think you've done enough here Chord and you should probably go home now. Also I don't appreciate you dragging me into your jealous rages. What happened between Catie and I was more my fault than anyone else's and I explained that to you when you asked me about it before we left. You either stay away from her or we're going to have a problem okay? If you feel the need to apologize once you're sober, and you better, make sure someone is there to monitor you because apparently you are not mature enough to handle yourself around this amazing girl you let go of."

The room was silent except for Chord rambling under his breath about needing to find something and then stumbling into the other room. I broke down crying after all of that. Having had so many emotions hit me all at once. What Chord had said hurt and then Darren had stuck up for me even though I'd basically given him a verbal bitch slap earlier in the day. I felt arms wrap around me and a voice trying to comfort me. When I looked up everyone else had left the room, leaving me alone with Darren's arms wrapped around me and his sweet words of comfort in my ear. I looked up at him and started crying again.

"What's wrong hun?"

"I'm. So. Sorry. Darren." I said between sobs and he just pulled me closer whispering "I know" and "it's ok, beautiful" in my ear until I had calmed down.

I realized that getting back to where we were again wouldn't be so difficult, but that I needed to show him that was what I wanted and that I was willing to try too. When I had calmed down and we decided that we should get going and we went about collecting our belongings. So when I walked back over to him, said "Thank you for the letter, Mr. Darcy. I mean, Darren," and kissed his cheek, before walking out to the car, he was, understandably, taken aback and ecstatic at the same time.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, except the idea for the story (which came from a couple of dreams) and the writing

After that I didn't really know how to act around him. He'd been friendly and we'd been having even better rehearsals than before, but it just seemed like he was avoiding me. I'd tried to strike up conversations with him plenty of times after rehearsals or during breaks and he always found some excuse to be anywhere but with me. I guessed maybe I'd lost my chance. Even though he had said he wanted to at least be friends, maybe it was too hard for him.

One night I was cooking dinner in the lounge between the first and second floors of the dorm building and he walked in, seemingly too distracted to notice that I was there. He turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels, but not finding anything that caught his eye. When I finished I cleaned my dishes gathered them up along with my food and started to leave. I hesitated though and said, "The TV guide is channel 14, if you're interested." His head snapped up and he looked at me, obviously having snapped him out of whatever daze he'd been on when he heard my voice. He gave me a small smile and said quietly, "Oh ok! Thanks." I said, "Sure" and I took my food up to eat in my room.

Things were going well, my research had just about ended and we were putting the finishing touches on the sets and going through our final dress rehearsals before the campers would be showing up. Now, in the story the characters are not written to have had any type of what we would consider to be typical romantic physical contact apart from hand holding and dancing, but our play had two scenes where Darren and I had to kiss and one where Dianna and Chris had to kiss because they were playing Jane and Bingley. When I asked my uncle why there was kissing in it he said the movie had it so, so would we. I just sighed and said ok. He asked me if there was anything wrong between me and Darren and that he'd thought everything was ok between us now. I told him it was, it's just that I still felt strongly about Darren, but that he hadn't really said much to me outside of rehearsals since I'd thanked him for the letter at the dinner party. He got a call then and said ok and apologized for leaving in that way, saying he'd help me figure it out later. It was nice that my uncle wanted to help me in this situation, but I really wasn't sure what there was to actually figure out. It seemed pretty clear to me; both Darren and I had overreacted and when he saw how dramatic I'd been and heard what happened with Chord he must have decided he didn't even want to pursue the "friends" thing he'd stated in the letter. I supposed that I'd just have to accept that and move on with my life, except then there were times when I'd catching looking at me with a wistful expression and I'd think there was hope.

It wasn't until Mia decided to pay me a visit in the middle of the path on my way to lunch that I realized there really was hope and that there may have been a reason for his treatment of me.

"I need to speak with you about some information that I've recently gathered about the nature of your relationship with a certain curly haired individual."

"I don't know what you're talking about. And who ARE you anyway? What do my relationships, or lack thereof, have to do with you?"

"Oh I think you know exactly what I'm talking about and they have a lot to do with me seeing as I'm his girlfriend!" she practically screeched the last few words.

"Wait whose girlfriend? And I honestly don't know what you're talking about. I am not in a relationship with anyone." _Unfortunately_, I thought.

"Darren freakin Criss, that's who. And you're telling me with complete certainty and honesty that there is nothing going on between you and him?"

"Well, first, I'd like to say that Darren himself told me that he is currently unattached, so you may want to clear that up with him. Second, and not that it's really any of your business but, no there is nothing going on between us at the present time and there wasn't ever before now." Technically I wasn't lying. While there was obviously _something_ between us, it wasn't what Mia was after and if he had gotten back together with her I didn't want to cause any problems for him. I still did really care about him, after all.

"Well, I heard, and I was sure it couldn't be true, that you had the intention of very soon entering into a serious relationship with him. I didn't want to do him the dishonor of accusing him of anything, so naturally I came here and decided to talk to you about it. Darren and I had just taken a break before he left. We didn't part in the best way, but he loves me and he always comes back to me."

"Well, if you're so sure that nothing could possibly be happening it's a wonder that you're even here at all! As for Darren he is a grown man and capable of making his own decisions. I've heard of how you two parted and to be honest, I'd wait for him to actually say you were back together before making those types of assumptions."

"You have no idea what you are saying, little girl. Now, I'll get to the reason that I came here. That was to get a promise from you that you are not in any type of relationship with him-" she looked at me expecting a reply then.

"We've already gone over this. I am not." That was one of the most saddening things I'd ever had to say and I thought we were done, but she continued.

"Good. And will you promise never to enter into such a relationship? Seeing as you know, he belongs to me. With me! Belongs with me."

"I will not. Nor will me ever. You do not have the right to dictate how I live my life or Darren's. As I said this particular curly haired man, as you so astutely first described him, deserves to make his own choices. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be getting to lunch. You have insulted me in every possible way, so I must ask you to leave the campus immediately. I have public safety on speed dial if you need any help." With that I walked away and I could hear her yelling insults and saying how insulted she had been until I finally got into my building and up to my room. One there the flood gates opened and I cried my eyes out. The conversation had made me feel both hopeful and hopeless about my situation. And my life was becoming more and more like fiction every day.

A couple more days passed and I found out that all of my friends who were on campus for the summer, my lab group, and professor had all been anonymously been given tickets to see the show we were putting on. Given, the tickets were more of invitations since the show was really just intended for the campers, it was a wonderful gesture, but no one would tell me who they were from. My last day of lab, and the day before the first performance my lab group and professor gave me flowers both as a good luck and a farewell gift. They still wouldn't tell me who had given them the invites and even the cast of the show was acting weird. Not to mention, I hadn't seen Darren since the night before Mia had confronted me.

That night at dinner one of my friends made a slip up and I found out who I had to thank for the support of my whole lab. I should have guessed it really, but given the situation it really made no sense at all to me. Yes, it was Darren. Of course it was Darren, who else could it have possibly been? Yet, why, especially after he'd been acting since the dinner party, would he go out of his way to do this for me? There were too many questions, but I couldn't deal with them at that moment. I needed to focus on the performance where I was Lizzie Bennet and he was Fitzwilliam Darcy and our lives were perfectly scripted for us.

The day of the show I was buzzing with excitement. We decided to do a quick run through without the costumes and it went wonderfully. Darren and I still hadn't practiced the kissing yet, although it wasn't either of our first times kissing someone on stage. So Ryan thought it would be better if the first kiss our characters had was our first kiss with each other as well. Apparently it would help it seem more real, but for the two of us all it did was make us more nervous.

I was walking to my dorm after the run through when Darren caught up with me. I was caught off guard because of how used to the stilted awkward conversations I'd had with him lately, but also because of how comfortable I still was to talking with him. He looked nervous though, and he asked if I'd like to take a walk in the arboretum with him. I agreed and when we got through the fence he began speaking.

"Catie, there's something I need to tell you and it's long overdue."

"Ok," I said nervously, "Shoot…. Um, I mean what's up, is everything ok?"

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine thanks. I just…"

"Just what?" There was a long pause after that and I thought he wasn't going to answer.

So I said, "Darren I want to thank you for –" at the same time as he said, "The way I've been acting has –" we both stopped and he motioned for me to proceed.

"Oh, I- I just wanted to thank you for what you did for me with Chord and with my friends and the people in my lab. It meant so much to me and I know that I wasn't supposed to know part of that but I do and I am so grateful for it."

"Ahh, yes, you weren't supposed to know that, but I guess I can't do anything about that now can I?" I just made a little hum of agreement and we were quiet for a while before he started to say again what he'd already begun to.

"Look, Catie, the way I've been acting… it's… it has not been fair to you and for that I am truly sorry. I just wasn't sure where exactly we stood and I didn't want to screw anything up between us. I realize now that all I really did was pull us further apart. I want you to know, I still feel the same way I did the first day we spent together and when I wrote you that letter or, if anything, stronger than that. Say one word and I won't mention it again. Say one word and we'll be friends and nothing more. I want so badly to pick up where we were left off, but say one word and you'll silence me on this forever. You spoke with Mia the other day and what you said to her gave me hope for something I never thought I'd have again."

"In that case, Mr. Darcy, I think you should know that I feel the same way. As when we first met I mean and I would love nothing more than to pick that up from before you knew I was Duckie."

At that point we'd sat down on a bench along the path. "Well," he said, "I that case, I think I was right about…. Here" and he leaned toward me and kissed me.

The show was a success; even though it wasn't our first kiss with each other it felt just as magical and amazing as the first one. I had finally found my Darcy and while I'd gone through a lot to get him, I knew he was worth it and wasn't going anywhere. Darren and I decided to stay together because we knew we could handle it and he'd be in the city enough where visiting wasn't an issue. All I knew was I couldn't wait for next summer when we could see each othe .


End file.
